I started my last first practicum and with it came a lot of emotions. A lot of ‘I can’t do this’, a lot of heartbreaking and eye opening literacy moments and a lot of ‘this is awesome’. In general, just a lot.
Much of the time I feel behind in teaching. As if I can’t connect ideas fast enough- the emotion tends to really get in the way for me. I feel the need to mull things over- to not respond to things instantaneously, which makes teaching difficult.
I always go back to that saying- teach what you know. But what if all I feel I know right now isn’t enough? What if it never is enough? What if I accidentally say something that closes off a student to reading or writing FOREVER? Thats the big fear. The forever. And it takes over every night before I fall asleep.
Then I wake up. I walk to my carpool meeting spot and repeat : Learn what you can.